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A_N3W_BEGInnINg
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read my profile
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Name: Shelby
Country: United States
State: Pennsylvania
Metro: Danville
Birthday: 10/6/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: My Myspace! http://www.myspace.com/alicia_is_amazing
visit it!
Sports: Swimming, tennis, and skiing/snowboarding
Interests: drawing, photography, hanging with friends, cruising 'round town, shopping, singing in the shower, walmart, making people laugh, talking online, eating hehe, listening to music, going to concerts, hiking...ect.
Music:U2, pineapple thief, porcupine tree, alkaline trio, mogwai, biffy clyro, the coopertemple clause, pink floyd, perfect circle, south, rilo kiley, rooney, hot hot heat, the shins, radiohead, remmy zero, travis, damien rice, the stones, reuben, the cure, the quiet drive, death from above, led zepplin, david bowie, the used, all american rejects, pearl jam, journey, the bravery, brand new, at the drive-in, the who, queen, something corporate, bright eyes, cold play, desparacitos (sp), jimmy eat world, guster, the white stripes, incubus, traffic, REM, starlight run...etc.
Expertise: Im high on life.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  swimchica022
MSN: Skiinah106@hotmail.com
Member Since:
11/5/2005
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| So yeah..right now, Im in the shop with Jess, Mr. Marshall, Jared, and Phil (of course it's Phil). -skipping art heh heh...
"It's green!" - random quote from Jess.
I have bowling next period..you know what that means...
Dunkin Donut's Coffee..
Yeah pretty much. I'm excited. School sucks. All I want to do is SLEEP! I went to bed around 2:00AM this morning. My eyes hurt and I look like I have down-syndrome...
Thank gawd for the weekend!!! Knoebles!! hurray! And no Parents! another hurray!
Woot.
Im in pain from practice yesterday. Not swimming for about a year really sucks when you decide to get back in the water. Muscles ache that I never even knew I had. -sigh-
Ah well.. Im out!
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| Theres a time in everyones life
where they are unmanageably confused and there isnt a simple answer anyone could
give them, no matter how many people they go to for advice or opinion. Well in
conclusion to this statement, I am at a point in my life where I dont know
what to do, what to think, how to act. I feel like Im just stuck. I cant move
or anything. Just stuck, and no one can help me move my feet and continue
forward.
A majority of my friends are
dealing with the same situation, well as closely related to the same feelings
and emotions Im trying to overcome at the moment. Although, talking to them
can only do so much, and now its left up to me to decide how Im going to
overcome all of this.
I honestly dont care who reads
this, because right now Im at a point where I can no longer keep it all inside.
When I look around my room, when I hear a song played, or smell or touch
something that brings many, many memories back into my head, my throat tenses
and I begin to feel the cry lump forming. Although I think of all the good
times and Ive realized that what I had is something that some people never get
the chance to experience in their life. I am lucky. I really am. And now that things
are over, I couldnt be any more happier for that other person. Their life is
moving on, theyve found someone who turned their life around, something that I
know for a fact I probably would have prevented from happening if things were
kept the same. Ive made a mistake, but Ive learned from it. "Its one big
learning experience," my mom says. And it has been. I feel like Im a different
person now. I feel like I can be more open, more talkative, Im more motivated,
and a lot more considerate. I just only wish I could be the person I am now
nearly 12 months ago.
I just feel like Im being pathetic.
Im holding on to something and I cant let go of it, no matter how hard Im being
pushed away from it.
Ill look up at a picture on my
wall, and I wonder all the time if that person thinks of me still. If we're
thinking of each other at the same time. If they still reflect on all the good
times we've had together. Do they still try to find a scent of me that I might
have left somewhere in their room, like I do. Do they go down a shopping aisle
and come across a certain candy or chocolate that reminds them of the other
person? Avoid certain songs so they dont have to cry. Every day I wonder whats
going to happen and every night I pray that I can gather some strength and
continue on in life, like they have.
I thought at one time I had, I
thought that I was happy and found that person who was going to take me away
from all the feelings and thoughts. But I regret everything. I regret
everything Ive done with him, and only made me realize that no one can replace
something that was so amazing, so special to me, so real. Ive been hurt by him
instead, been laughed at, all lies, Id been criticized, and they made 'special
moments' not at all special. Im the one to blame for that. I just wanted to get
over everything inside. It was total rebound.
I've met a
new guy though. I love talking to him. I can talk to him for hours
about the most random things, and the talks I have with him are great
and he makes me feel like I can be myself around him and be
comfortable. And I love that, I really really do, but why on earth am
I crawling back to these thoughts constantly?
I want to find an end to this
circle so badly. Ill
be satisfied once I can touch them once again. Just lay eyes on each other once
more, face to face. Even if it was only for a minute, Id do it. Ive never
wanted something so badly that your whole chest heaves every time you take a
breath in and your stomach clenches. Im just scared that Im the only one. | | |
| So I went over to Seths and FINALLY I got to watch the Simsons after being home from Scotland!!!
((miss it <3))
I seriously cant wait to travel Europe again.
But yes, we had lots of fun as usual haha I love him so much. Im so happy :D
I have to make him some chocolate chip cookies soon! haha He's already
finished the one batch I made him. Honestly, I wish I were a guy...I'd
eat all the time!
I'll probably spend most of Easter with him I think. His parents will be out in Penn State with his older brother so heh...
Our one Month is coming up on Monday. I dont know what the hell to get
him haha what do guys like? Well he's in love with hoodies...
I think he was trying to eat my face???
Creative Writing is a lot of fun! We're doing a romance genre! hah hah so now we're watching Pride and Prejudice! heh...
Better get working out again..I didnt get a chance to go for a run today...
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| So where have I been, you ask? Well appart from traveling the world,
seeking all seven natural wonders of the world, trying out horse
hot-dogs, and sitting on a bean bag eating cheetos, Ive been doing
pretty great I must say.
My life's gotten back on track, Im doing amazing in school, I have a
boyfriend now..Seth hehe and things with that are going great. Im not
use to being able to see someone anytime i need them or want to see
them, its crazy. I dont know how it all started, we even told each
other that we didnt want to make it a serious relationship because we
both just got out of two huge ones, but we connect so well its
completely insane, so everythings a bit assbackwards from what we
intended. I love it, Kristey, Tyler, Jess, and Seth (my friends) we get
together almost every weekend, sometimes i feel as though hes not even
a boyfriend and more like a really good friend. Im never jealous when
he talks around other girls (dont know why, I usually am?), I act
myself (which can get pretty scary haha) but idk, its just great.
haha yes thats Seth with his shades ^^^ Not that good of a pic but good enough haha
Tomorrow Im have a co-ed fiesta with the gang hehe Jess, Seth, and I's
goal is to hook Kristey and Tyler up lol wonder how thatll go
Proms coming up! :D
I didnt pick out a dress yet, still losing some more weight. I want to
get back to the same weight like before I went to Scotland. I felt so
good!
I got a job at BK! Its a lot of fun! lol except i hate the uniform, but
all my friends work there heh so its great. So my Europe Trip fund is
going quite nicely. Cant wait! My summer next year is going to be
amazing! lol I dont know if im going alone or what. But im going
regardless if no one else is going with me.
I still miss a few things in my life, im just afraid that itll be lost
forever, but at least ill never forget. Im reading the notebook and it
mentioned how your first love stays with you forever, its just
something that you will never be able to forget, and strange as that
is, it is absolutely true.
Anyways, that was kind of a thought I wanted to jot down. However, I am off to make a phonecall :D heh heh...ciao <3333
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| wow, im extremely bored right now. Thank god i can type without lookingdown at the keyboard. Im in American cultures right now and m friend keiths giving a presentation. Sorry I havent written anything in a while, ive been kinda busy...
Haha Phil has no idea what hes doing.. | | |
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